


Perfection

by Lunarlux



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Mama Stilinski Feels, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experience, Stilinski Family Feels, pre-ish Sterek kinda sorta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:21:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarlux/pseuds/Lunarlux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He shakes his head, “I was a mistake. What do people do when they make a mistake? Erase them.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in the mood for some emotional wrecking fan fiction, so I made my own. I'll try my best to update more often, but these next two weeks I have really big tests. Tell me what you think!  
> NOTE: IF YOU EVER THINK A PART OF THIS IS TOTAL SHIT DO NOT HESITATE TO TELL ME. THANK YOU!

His mother always showed him eating was a bad thing.  She never actually said it to his face but when he made her a sandwich when he was six and she slammed the plate on the ground, sending the food flying, and proceeded to yell at him for an hour, he got the idea. After that he asked her if he wasn’t supposed to eat too, and she never really answered that either. It was just that every time he ate in front of her she’d get a disgusted look on her face and would ignore him for the rest of the day. She would look in the mirror every morning and point out her imperfections, and then she would bend down next to him and point his out too with a harsh bitterness to her tone. So he figured it out, no eating equals perfection, to be truly beautiful, you'll be loved by everyone. 

He still remembers when she would come into his room at night when she thought he was sleeping and whisper to him in her angry unloving tone, “You are a disappointment, you’ll never be loved, you _ruined_ me. I was perfect and you came along and killed me. You are nothing to me.” She would kiss his head and walk out and she would ignore his puffy red eyes in the morning.

He wanted to have a mother. He saw how other kids acted with theirs and he needed that. So when his mother asked him one day after she picked him up from school if he wanted something to eat he shook his head. She looked at him with narrow eyes, “Why? You always eat.”

Stiles looked into her eyes with determination, “I want to be pretty like you.” For the first time ever his mother truly smiled at him.

At dinner that night he ate and his mother looked mildly disappointed. The next day when she asked him if he wanted to eat he said no again. “You ate dinner and lunch at school.” She spat at him.

“Mom, you’ve got to keep up appearances. What do think people would say if I stopped eating? What do you think dad would do?” He replied easily. She stared at him shocked for a minute before she shook her head and smiled at him.

“You’re smarter than I thought, but let me show you how to get rid of it after you eat it.” She took him later that night when his father was sleeping and showed him how to throw up using his fingers.

Every night from there on she would come into his room when she thought he was sleeping and praise him.

Stiles’s father found out about their secret when they went to a doctor’s appointment and they saw he was underweight. He yelled at his mother calling her a monster and saying starving a child wasn’t normal.

They found his mom’s body in the kitchen, her neck split open, and she held a knife loosely in her hand. The note next to her body said, “ _I just wanted to be perfect. He will be perfect.”_

There was no question who “he” was. His father monitored his diet like crazy the rest of 7th grade. By the end of the year he gained so much weight he was deemed overweight, and his father was proud. Stiles’s cried everyday looking in his mother’s mirror he dragged into his closet.

When his father got promoted to sheriff he didn’t have time for Stiles anymore, which gave him the freedom to eat whatever he wanted. He chose nothing. He memorized calories of foods, made charts of what he could eat, and he exercised like crazy. He lost 10 lbs in two weeks, and he knew it wasn’t healthy, but he was as hooked as his mother and he rather die than have to deal with being _overweight_.

He met Scott in freshmen year of high school. Scott wasn’t the brightest and Stiles took advantage of that, he knew Scott wouldn’t notice his mannerisms.

Even throughout the whole werewolf extravaganza he still kept his diet, nobody seemed to notice anyway.  Derek finally got his pack together after Boyd and Erica came back and the alphas beat it into his head what it meant to be a good pack leader. He often felt more self-conscious because of all the muscle that was around him. His mother told him that being skinny was the most important part, so he clung onto the fact that he finally reached 130 lbs the other day.

He had become somewhat of a pack mother over the past months taking care of all of his friends. It was actually surprising that Jackson was the first one to call him mom. It was kind of messed up that he acted like a mother when he probably had the most messed up childhood ever. He usually shrugged off the remarks the pack made about how Derek and him were perfect parents, but he couldn’t help thinking they were right.

The day his life came crashing down was when he collapsed in the kitchen of the newly renovated Hale house. He was taking dishes out of the washer until everything blurred and he slammed to the ground and blacked out.

He woke up in a hospital with his pack and his dad sitting around him. He ignored the pump that was sending fat into his body, and hoped it was a sick dream. He would die before going back to his chubby fingers and round belly. He heard his father’s soft angry voice, “Why.”

He looked at his father and remembered something his mother used to say to his father when they would argue about her eating habits. He would yell that she’s perfect the way she is and she would calmly say three deadly words. “You wouldn’t understand.” Stiles's voice is calm. His father recoils like he’s been slapped.

His father visibly deflates and before walking out of the room he angrily says, “She hated you and you knew it.” He slams the door behind him. Stiles would say he’s wrong, but he’d be lying.

Derek looks at him with worried eyes, “We can help Stiles.”

Stiles laughs bitterly, “You can’t”

Erica pushes herself out of a crappy plastic chair. “Yes we can!”

He shakes his head, “I was a mistake. What do people do when they make a mistake? Erase them.”

Scott tensely says, “You are not a mistake.”

Stiles ignores him. “My mother hated me. I caused her imperfections. She didn’t know she was pregnant before it was too late to get an abortion. She did everything she could to get me out of her life. In the end I killed her.”

Lydia looks up at him, “No you didn’t.”

“She killed herself because of me.”

“You did not hold the knife to her throat!” Isaac yelled standing up from his chair too quickly and sent it flying. “You didn’t do anything!”

Tears slid down Stiles’s cheeks, “I’m messed up.”

Isaac was the first to hug him the rest of them following after. 

Later that night Derek came into the room and sat next to Stiles. Stiles put the book he was reading down. “I think you’re perfect.” Derek said caressing Stiles’s cheek. Stiles grabbed Derek’s shirt and pressed their lips together. He knew it would take time before he would get better, but at least he’ll be loved.


End file.
